my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
