so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
