Someone shit on the floor
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she peed on how many people?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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