i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
there is glitter all over my balls
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