suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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