i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize