i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
