On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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