Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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