I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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