is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize