I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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