so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize