I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My cat gives me a boner
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
