I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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