Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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