i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
