and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
