I look better un-naked...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
