im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize