About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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