glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
