She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
