i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
