Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have fence marks all over my body
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
