My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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