Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
