Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
