we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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