Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm too high and old for this...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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