She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
