does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
