mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
