He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
