I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i out mim tonsoeep
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