Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
