My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just googled if crying burns calories
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need moral support for this bender
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize