wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
