ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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