This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
