Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
