Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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