i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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