So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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