If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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