I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
