we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
