belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
