so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
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