Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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