no. you can't hotbox the world.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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