Is it because I queefed?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize