Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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