No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize