Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
