There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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