we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
