i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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