the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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