I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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