I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
