Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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