Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
