Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
