Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
