i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
