I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
