bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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