yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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